


Hush Little Baby

by ElopeToTheSea



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Adoptive Child, Baby Dave, Found Family, Friends With Benefits, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Lullabies, child fic, mentions of drug and alcohol, roxy is trying her best and thats more than enough, single parent roxy lalonde
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 09:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19195948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElopeToTheSea/pseuds/ElopeToTheSea
Summary: Maybe starting a family isn't so bad.





	Hush Little Baby

This is the worst.

Your head hurts like a bitch, the room stinks, and there are broken bottles all over the floor. When you open your eyes, you groan, not wanting to get up. You are not sure if this is yours, or Feferi’s house. But you vaguely remember going to Eridan’s house, not hers.

Oh, yeah. It was Eridan’s party. So then, this is your house. No wonder is so quiet.

Since this is your house, you decide to stay in the bed a few more minutes -which could or not be hours you don’t really know. So, while you don’t dare to move, you try to recall what exactly happened yesterday.

You were in Eridan’s house. You personally didn’t like his parties, they were kind of boring. Not bad though. His parties were almost as good as Nepeta's. They had good music and good alcohol, but they weren’t ‘crazy.’ Just a chill time with good music and a little dancing. A little boring, but good.

Even if you didn’t like his parties, Feferi dragged you. Well, it was to be expected since he was her boyfriend. You can say quite a handful thing about Eridan, but never, not even at the end of the world, can you say he’s a bad boyfriend.

He loves Feferi more than anyone in the world, and he even quit the idea of hurting the people who bullied Feferi, just because she told him not to. He’s a smart guy, a little obnoxious, and annoying, but he would never hurt a girl and is always nice to them.

The first few hours of the party were fine. You drank a little, talked to Nepeta, a dance with Feferi. Everything was fine, until…

 _Fuck_.

Dirk.

You groan. He must have gotten a bottle of good vodka. That explains why you are so hangover, and why you are in your house. As much as that boy is a dick, he always takes you home after a party…Well after a quickie or two in the bathroom. But there’s no pain, so you suppose Eridan kicked you out before doing much.

You decide it is enough of self-loathing and promises of never drinking again – which you know won’t keep- so you step out and take a shower. The water is so warm, and you stink so much, that you must have stayed there at least an eternity.

Before you completely pass out in the shower, you get out. You put on fresh clothes and prepare a warm cup of coffee.

The cupboard is tall, so it takes you a while to get the pills. You swallow them with the black coffee and relax

The mug is set in the coffee table, while you throw yourself in the couch. It’s so soft and comfy, you almost fall asleep again.

But your cellphone rings and your eyes open up again. While you would love to ignore it, you remember the time your friends freaked out after you got lost an entire day after Feferi’s party. The image of their angry faces alone was enough to make you fish the phone out of the bag.

There were like ten messages from Feferi and one from Dirk.

You know Dirk is probably saying something sarcastic and mean, so you ignore him.

Feferi’s messages are some variant to ‘Are you feeling okay? Want me to come over.’

R: hey there fef

CC: Roxy! My bubbly gill!

CC: I was so worried 38(

R: Don’t worry fefy

R: im ok now

R: just a little tired

CC: how codn’t you?

CC: you drank so much!

R: cant remember

R: sorry

CC: bad gill!

CC: I told you to tone down that silly addiction

R: its no an addiction

R: I can control myself

CC: …

CC: still worried

R: don’t be

R: besides

R: nothing real bad has happened yet

CC: you said it

CC: yet

CC: gill you should stop beshore you reel regret it

R: fefy you worry too much

CC: im your best friend

CC: that my job 38)

R: love you too

CC: I glob you too

 

You sigh. You don’t see why everyone worries so much. You are just a casual drinker. At least that’s what you think you are. But maybe, that’s not so true. After all, you are putting your jacket on, to go buy another bottle of wine, since the last one you had just run out.

You step outside, shivering a little from the cold. It’s halfway November, so it’s becoming colder as the time passes. Soon, it will be winter, and the snow won’t take long to fall.

Whistling, all the way to the store, you watch as the leaves fall, and the wind blows.  The clouds are gray, panting the sky in beautiful hues of nostalgia.

When you get to the store, you take two bottles, and pay with a happy girl, who looks like will kill someone. You pay her, and she gives you a look between curious and sadness. You wave her goodbye and begin walking back home.

You need to hurry and finish your homework; you think to yourself. Tomorrow you have an exam, and even if you can pass it with barely studying, you still want to try answering sober.

“Maybe I really should quit…” That’s what you always tell yourself, but you know it’s a vain promise. You doubt you will ever stop.

Your addiction started when you were still in high school. You were a pretty decent person if only a little weird. That changed when you met Feferi. Not because of her, no. Feferi is the sweetest person alive. She is still worried about you and never wanted you to take any kind of weird substance. It’s not Feferi’s fault.

It’s her sister’s.

Meenah Peixes. The typical bad girl, in every boy’s wet dream. Bad, cruel, confident and had this vibe that she will crush your skull. You looked up at her when you were still too naïve. She was the one who brought you to the party and taught you the ‘Live hard, die young’ philosophy. While you hung around with Feferi, she usually tagged along so she could give you cigarettes and take you to parties. Of course, she let you alone the second you got there, leaving you to your own luck. Discovering the occult world of alcohol and drugs.

She had already graduated; you were a sophomore. As Feferi would always say it, there’s just something ‘fishy’ about her sister. She hung around people too young for her, and even had an affair with Karkat, Eridan’s best friend, at some point.  You thought she was only being nice, but now you know, that Meenah is never ‘Just being nice.’

All the people her age were already working, studying or doing something with their lives, while Meenah kept living in the party. She had no other option more than to fuck up younger one’s lives, so she had someone she could be with, and end up like her.

As soon as you found out about this, you cut all ties with her, aside from Feferi, who helped you out more than you deserved after you practically ditched her for her sister.

It was a habit hard to stop, but you are better now. Still, the alcohol is a little hard to leave.

You are tired, so you try to hurry back home. You decide to take a shortcut. Instead of going left, you go right.

You were no more than ten minutes of walking to your home when you heard something weird.

Looking around, you grin widely.

“Hello there, little friend.” You smile to the black cat sitting next to you. “What are you doing here?”

It did a little ‘meow’ sound and walked to a pile of trash. You laugh a little. Cats were your only weakness ever since you were little. It doesn’t take much for you to follow it.

“Come here, kitty!” You call it and run towards the trash, so you can pet it. You look around in the trash and see him near a carton box. You grin and launch yourself at it. “Gotcha!”

The crows that were surrounding the trashcans fly, making their ‘caw, caw’ sound. You laugh, but you don’t feel the cat’s claws. That’s weird. You are surprised. The little one had all the right to hurt you. You look at him, and his stare is still focused on the carton box.

“What are you looking at, little one?” You put him down, to see the inside of the box. You didn’t expect to see anything more than a couple of tuna cans or even mice. Your eyes widen when you see what is inside. “Is that…? Fuck…Fuck!”

You drop your bag. You can’t believe your eyes. Taking your hand to cover your mouth, you let out a huge gasp, and try to wipe away the tears.

“Fuck…Fuck! What the hell?!” You want to scream. You look around, trying to search for someone to help you. No one is outside, it’s fucking cold, and what are you even supposed to do. “Shit!”

You can’t leave like this. The crows are coming back, but you don’t pay attention to them.

“Whoever the fuck did this to you…” You whimper and shake your head. “Fuck them. Come with me. My house might be small, but it’s warm.”

You start talking to him, while you pick him up.

It breaks your heart how small he is. Gently, you brush his hair and smile with tearful eyes.

You completely forget the wine bottle in the middle of the road.

“Come on, baby boy…Let’s go home!”

….

“Oh, my glob!” Feferi is so stunned when she looks at the tiny baby you have in your arms. “Gill, what are you going to do now?”

“Take care of him, of course,” you reply while heating a bottle of milk.

“But you have no krilling idea of how to take care of a baby!” She says alarmed. “Roxy, this is no game…You are seariously going to take care of a baby? All by yourshelf?”

The worry in Fefery’s eyes doesn’t make you back down.

“Yes,” you say, carrying the baby in your arms, as you give him the bottle. You smile sadly. “Fefy, I know I’m not the best friend, and ever since high school, I have been weird, but…This is something I need to do.”

“I still don’t understand…” She sighs, but smile gently. “But, if you are shore about keeping him, I’ll help you!”

“You are the best, Fefy.” You want to hug her, but you are still carrying the baby in your arms.

She has her big grin that shows her sharp teeth that almost look shark-like.

“Anykelp.” She walks so she’s right above the little baby. “How are you naming this tuna little buoy?”

“Not sure, yet…” You sigh. He stops drinking the milk, so you wipe away the rest in his mouth. You smile as his tiny mouth makes bubbles. “Aren’t you the cutest thing ever?”

You lift him up, so he is almost touching the ceiling, but you are surprised to see he’s not laughing.

 “What a weird little one….” Feferi says. “When I was taking care of Sollux younger brother’s, they wouldn’t stop crying! He hasn’t even made a sound…”

“I hope to stay silent isn’t something he will grow used to…” You sigh. “I want him to tell me how he feels when he grows up…”

“I’m shore he will,” Feferi assures you, with a smile. “We should call Nepeta. She might be of help.”

Feferi takes out her phone and begins dialing her best friend’s number. Meanwhile, you try to play with the tiny little baby, that is in your arms.

“You are really cute.” You tell him, rubbing your forehead against his soft cheeks. “We should find a name to call you…How about George?”

The baby starts crying as soon as you say the name. Feferi, double with laughter at this.

“Oh my cod!” She’s in tears. “Nepeta! Come fast! This is eelarious!”

“Well, no George, definitely…” You sigh, but you are not mad. It’s kind of endearing, to be honest.

There’s a knock on the door, and you turn to Feferi, who is still on the phone.

She’s eyeing worriedly at the door.

“That’s knot, Nepeta…” Feferi turns off the cellphone and stands up. “I have a feeling I know who it is…”

You sigh.

“Me too…I hope I’m wrong.” Feferi opens her arms, and you let the baby rest on her arms? “Stay in my room, I’ll handle it.”

“Be careful, and don’t do anyfin stupid…” She warns you, hiding in the bedroom, with the baby.

“Can’t be stupidier than him.” You return, and she glares at you, with a smile. You give her an ‘I’m sorry, not really’ smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll try.”

She closes the door, and you sigh. You are way too tired to handle this, but you need to.

You open the door, and immediately sigh when you see him.

“Hey…”  He greets, and you shake your head.

“What do you want now, Dirk?” You ask, resting in the door frame.

“You won’t let me in?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Look, I really need to do my homework, and Fefy needs to help with stuff.”  You explain, not really looking at him. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Sorry. I just thought that after Eridan’s party yesterday, you would want to fuck with me.” He says, and you facepalm.

“Dirk, you are a good friend, but seriously stop referring to our relationship as ‘fuck.’”

“But isn’t that what we are?” He is confused, and you know it. He doesn’t know how to handle relationships. But you are too tired for this.

“Well, not anymore.” You sigh and stand firm in the door. He looks surprised and even a little hurt, but you harden up and become serious with him. “Dirk, we should-…Maybe it’s time we stop. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Your tone is as firm as you can manage, and it kind of breaks your heart to see him break his usual poker face, to a surprised one. But it breaks your heart even more at the memory of the tiny little one in Feferi’s arms.

“I fucked it up again?” he asks confused and looking at the ground. “What did I do wrong?”

You smile a little, sad and worry in your chest. You step in front and let your hand rest in his shoulder.

“You didn’t do a thing wrong, Dirky.” He feels better, or at least you feel he does when you say his old nickname. “I just... found someone that needs me even more…”

“You have a boyfriend?” Dirk raises an eyebrow unable to believe what you’ve just said. You roll your eyes and let out a small laugh.

“Not yet, silly.” You poke his forehead with your finger, slightly, making him dizzy. You smile, kindly and sweet at the memory. “Just someone who needs me even more…”

There’s a cry from inside your house, making you look everywhere, quickly.

“What the he-?” Dirk ask, but before he can finish, you run inside the house.

“Fefy?!” You call her so fucking scared. You search for both of them, in your room, but there’s no one. “Fefy?! Where are you both?!”

“Rox!” Feferi calls, exiting the kitchen. “I’m so sorry! He just started crying!”

You run next to her, where the little one is crying.

“Oh, no shh…Shhh, don’t cry, baby boy…” You gently rock him, so he calms down. As soon as you calm down, he does too. He stops crying when you start humming. “There, there…Mama Roxy is right here…”

“Whose is it?” Dirk asks, and you just realized he entered the house when you rushed in.

“He’s mine,” You say proudly, turning away from him.

“Roxy, he’s not yours…I hope you didn’t steal it.” He gives you a look, and you roll your eyes.

“I don’t know who this little one’s biological parent is…but he is my baby from now on.” You keep humming from between words, so he doesn’t wake up.

“This a huge responsibility.” He lets out a frustrated sigh. “It’s not a toy or a pet. It’s a human being, and we are still in university. We can’t handle something like his.”

You turn and meet his eyes, right through those stupid shades. You glare, making him back down two steps.

“Listen to me, Dirk.” You take one step to him, and he backs down two. “I grew up without a dad, without a mother. The only thing I have left from my biological parents is a stupid plush bunny. I grew up without someone to take care of me, my stepmother was a bitch, and my stepdad was the only one I could trust, who was never home. This place is everything left from him to me.”

You start walking faster towards him, and he seems a little intimidated, but you could care less.

“I fucking. Know. You grew up like that too.” You plant yourself in the front door, and he’s already out of your house. “But. I won’t let someone else. Suffer what I did. If I can do something, to protect him…I will.” You, while holding the kid in your arms, you take the door in the other. You give him the sorriest look, you can give him. “I’m sorry, Dirk. I really am.”

You close the door.

That would be the last time you see Dirk in university.

“There we go.” You finally sigh and let the baby rest in your arms.

“Whale, that went betta than I thought.” Feferi grins, awkwardly. Her cellphone rings, making her gleam as she read the name. “Oh shit! My angelfish! Gotta swim! Eridan just got home, and he’s making the most delicious dinner ever! Think you can take care of the little fish?”

Feferi looks at you worriedly, but you just grin.

“You betta I can !” You say imitating her Australian accent. She laughs and runs back home.

The house is left dead silent, and you are so tired. It takes all of your strength not to fall asleep, once you sit in the couch.

“This old house has always been so silent.” You tell him, softly.

* * *

 

_“Dad! Dad !” You remember screaming at him, when he finally got home. “You won’t believe it! I got a perfect mark in my maths exam!”_

_“That’s my Roxy, girl.” He smiled at you, before going to bed, exhausted._

_“Don’t bother your father, Roxanne.” Your mother said, not even looking up from the dishes she was washing. “And dear, stop spoiling her so much. If she keeps making so much noise, we’ll wake the neighbors.”_

_“You heard your mother, Roxy!” He used to say._

* * *

 

You spent your childhood days in a house where you could only be happy and loud when your father was home. Weekends, and Fridays after eight. The other days were gloomy since your mother worked all day and night. She was kind, but also really strict and a little negligent. It didn’t matter at those times though. Father made everything better, until…

Well, until he couldn’t anymore.

You sigh at the memory. 

* * *

 

“ _Mother…” You asked her standing beside. In front of you a coffin, dark as space, while you wear an even darker dress. You were thirteen, and you wondered why your father wasn’t by your side. “What’s going to happen now?”_

_“I don’t know, dear…” She replied, with silent tears. Because that’s how everything became after father’s death. Silent._

_She worked even more and more days, and you were sorry you were such a burden, but she always smiled._

_“You are not a burden, Roxanne. Father loved you, and I still love you.”_

_But little by little, the time when someone was at home, became even smaller._

_It finally came a time, when your mother left the house._

_“I’ll be living in Europe. They offered me a job overseas.” She told you one day, while you were eating dinner. It hadn’t surprised you all that much. Each time you could eat together, it was some big news. Usually bad. For you. “Don’t worry, I’ll send the money so you can live peacefully. “_

_“It’s okay, mom…” You smiled like you were so used to. You were about to enter high school and she was leaving. “When will you be back? “_

_“I’m…I’m not sure…”_

_“Oh…” You said, not really sure what to say. You glanced down to your soup, smiling sadly. “Hope you have fun then!”_

_“I’m sorry, Roxanne…”_

_You shook your head._

_“Don’t worry about it, mom…”_  

* * *

 

You had always called them your father and mother, even when they weren’t your real ones. In the church, where you lived before them, they told you, you were left there without a note. Just a plush bunny, that is still on your bedside table.

“But don’t worry, my boy.” You say softly, brushing his hair. “I won’t let you have a silent and lonely home!”

You rock him. The couch is comfortable, unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to think so. He’s not even blinking. You yawn.

“Man, you should make some noise…I don’t know if you are feeling okay or not…” When you tickle the right side of his stomach, he starts laughing. “There you go!”

You laugh with him and start making many silly faces, so he doesn’t stop laughing.

“Well, I wonder what should I call you, though…” You look at the ceiling wondering. “Taylor? Cedric? Harry? Ron? How about Draco?”

He just stares at you, and you laugh. He is surely telling you something silly.

“Okay, okay. No Harry Potter names” You laugh some more. “Are you sure you are not Dirk’s son? You two look so stoic and alike...it’s almost insane…”

You think for a minute. Maybe you were a little harsh with Dirk. He’s not a bad person, but not exactly all that good either. You should talk to him, he’s an important friend, after all.

“Dave.” You finally decide. You smile at him, and he doesn’t seem to dislike it. So you settle for it. “Dave!”

You grin so wide it hurts, and the little baby makes an awkward smile too. You are so happy you want to die.

“Dave!”

When you twirl him, he starts laughing. Laughing so much, and it makes you feel like your heart is going to burst.

You hum to yourself while taking the bottle of milk that Feferi left on the couch. You put it in Dave’s mouth.

“You should go to sleep, Dave.” You yawn. “Tomorrow, I’ll have to wake up early…”

He stares at you, unable to even blink.

“How about a lullaby…?” You keep yawning. “Mom used to sing me when I wouldn't sleep…”

 You open your mouth, letting the lyrics flow into the air. It felt weird to be the one singing it, after so long of being the baby who needed comfort. 

" _Hush little baby, don't say a word_.  _Momma’s gonna buy you a mocking bird,"_ it brought you an unexpected peace to sing those words. The warmth of his little head against your chest was making you tear up.  _"And if that's mocking bird won't sing..._ _Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring."_

 

 _"And If that diamond ring turns to brass..."_ Your eyelids felt heavy, as Dave clung to your shirt. It felt nice. "... _Mommas gonna buy you a looking glass."_

You don't remember falling asleep. But when you woke up on the couch and looked down to see Dave in your arms... you realized it was the first time in your life that you didn't regret your decisions one bit. 

**Author's Note:**

> Can you believe i wrote this in 2016 ? Lol shoutout to @tellmeifithurts on twitter who was literally the reason why i decided to edit and finish this lol. 
> 
> I actually have a bit of a sequel written, but im not sure if i'll continue it hmm. maybe depending on how well this does, or if ash actually likes it lol


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